Last night I stumbled upon this video while scrolling aimlessly through my tumblr feed. It’s an audition for the newest season of x-factor, which I am not one to watch, but boredom won over and I hit play.
Twelve minutes later and I was in tears, stunned at what I had just witnessed.
Jillian Jensen auditioned for the show explaining that she had been bullied for the majority of her life and had found solace in music. I hoped that she would make it through.
Little did I know.
The girl sang Jesse J’s “Who You Are,” again a song I was unfamiliar with as I am pretty stuck on country music over pop.
The lyrics start off saying that “it’s okay not to be okay, sometimes its hard to follow your heart. Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising, just be true to who you are.“
At this point Demi has totally lost it.
Britney has lost it.
Simon mean muggin’ Cowell has lost it.
I have lost it.
And you are going to lose it:
I have never really been “bullied” exactly, but instead lost friends who meant the world to me. I think that Jillian’s story and song are so powerful because we can all relate to her in some way.
We have all had those dark days.
The pain, the searching, the sheer feeling of surrender, we have all felt it.
And Jillian sang it.
What I mean to say is that things like this remind me how unified we all are. As alone as you may feel, plastering on a smile day after day, letting yourself cry only when the shower will wash your tears away, or even losing the will to cry at all, you are never really alone.
I have felt it, this gorgeous girl has felt it, Demi Lavato has felt it and so many others have too.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what the circumstance is, nothing really matters unless you understand that things are going to be okay. You have to understand that love really does conquer above all else. That the Lord has a plan, that He puts us through things because He knows we are strong enough to handle them. It seems so unfair, I totally get it. But you are good, strong, pretty, skinny, funny, happy, successful: you are enough.
I am so much more positive and easy going today compared to two years ago because of all of the pain and suffering I have been through.
I am more kind, patient and loving.
I cherish people and moments more than most people understand, mostly because I am so happy to be alive and blessed.
The light at the end of it all may seem dim, but know that it will grow brighter. Laughter will flow from your heart once again, and eventually you will understand why.
Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
1 Peter 5:9-10